So, I’m dealing with a bunch of high school drama and I graduated high school a month and one week ago.
I had, HAD, this best friend. We became best friends freshman year and we just stuck together. We were like two puzzle pieces that meshed perfectly.
The last day of high school, we had plans to go see The Avengers, watch Shameless and Despicable Me, and drive around to random places. We had these plans the weekend before but she had to bail because her brother’s baseball tournament ran late (till 1am).
Her brother was graduating elementary school that night so I told her I was going to go out to dinner with my family because the cousin I barely ever saw at the time was going to be there, so we made plans to meet up after dinner and graduation.
As I drive home, I drive past the school where the graduation was being held: not a single car in sight, which means graduation is over. I get home and text her, “Hey, are you still coming over?”
Twenty minutes later, I finally get a response, “Ummm, I don’t think so. My dad wants to take *insert brother’s name* and me to a movie and dinner. Maybe another night?” I respond, “Okay.”
Now, I totally get this. This is something I have dealt with all three and a half years of our friendship. Her dad is a total dick and she loves her brother to death. I understand that she wanted to go to her brother’s tournament and see him graduate, I understand that her dad would force her to do family stuff. What I DON’T understand is the fact that she couldn’t text me and tell me that plans had to be rescheduled. Why did I have to go to her and ask her if she was still coming? That makes me seem insecure that she is going to ditch me. Maybe I was insecure?
I did not hear from her for three days after that. I am not much of a texter, I am usually the person that lets the conversation die off because I have nothing else to say. But to not hear from her for three days? That was strange. She was always texting me random Tumblr and Facebook things everyday. So to hear nothing but the wind blowing? That started to make me worried.
I finally texted her and asked her what was going on. I am clueless when it comes to friendships. She was my first best friend ever and I have NO idea what the right and wrongs of friendship is. I mean, I have the common sense morality of it: don’t talk shit about her, don’t rudely insult her on a daily basis, be there for her whenever, etc. etc. I got that stuff, but I never knew where the limit was. I usually say what is on my mind and let the repercussions come to me. She knows this, at least, I thought she did. I told her constantly, “Tell me when I have gone to far.” But she always did… why would it stop now?
She texts back, “What do you mean?” I tell her that I have noticed that she has been canceling our plans often and not texting me as much as she used to. She responds half an hour later, “I’m at work right now, I will text you during my break.” Please note, that is conversation was at 2 in the afternoon.
I text her again at 10pm. “Are you going to tell me what is going on?”
“Oh, I’ve just been really busy lately. I keep being called in to work and my dad keeps making me do things. It’s been happening to *person*, *person*, and *person*. I’m really sorry.”
I’m sorry, but if I am called in to work or my family decides to go do something and I have previously made plans with a friend, you know for certain that I will be texting or calling that person to tell them that we need to reschedule our plans because I have been called in to work or my family wants to go do something. That is not only common sense, but it also common courtesy.
So I am ranting in my head about how wrong this conversation is: how she should have done this, how she should tell me what is seriously going on because I am not stupid, rant rant rant rant ran in my head. But I have done the “fight over text” thing before; everything comes out the wrong way and it only makes the situation bigger than what it should be.
That is all I wrote. I knew to get to the bottom of this, I need to hear her voice and have her hear mine so we can make this issue go away.
“I am having a talk with my mom right now. I will call you after.”
Nothing the rest of the night. Nothing the next day. Nothing except for a tumblr photo.
So, two days after I confronted her and she slammed the door in my face, I did something wrong. I ranted to my friends about the situation and they ranted to me too. In the heat of anger, I wrote a text that I wish I never sent. It was childish; I acted like a thirteen year old girl who is mad that her crush is dating some other girl and writes rude things about the girlfriend. I texted, “Hey, thanks for calling me the other night. Glad we can talk through our issues. I can see how much our friendship means to you. :)” If I could take back that text, I would a hundred times over.
From then on, there is nothing. Her new best friend deletes me off of Facebook while she deletes two of my friends.
But while she holds no contact with me, she continues keeping in contact with my mom. She tells my mom how she feels she shouldn’t come to my graduation party because I wouldn’t want her there. My mom tells her that I would be more disappointed if she didn’t come at all. She promises my mom that she will definitely come.
She doesn’t show.
She tells my mom later that she got called into work at 8 in the morning and couldn’t et out of there. It takes two seconds to send a text. She has no issue texting me a tumblr photo and promising my mom that she will come to my party, but she can’t text a “Sorry, I won’t be able to make it, I was called into work.”
If there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I love my mother. She is my life and I am fierce when it comes to protecting her. She has been my one true parent in life and I would not be here today writing this if it wasn’t for her. I do not mean the fact that she gave me life, but she gave me a reason to live. The very thought of something hurting her kills me.
Don’t promise my mom something and then blow her off. Don’t lie straight to her face some (in my opinion) bull shit story. You hurt her, I hurt you.
You would think that my supposed best friend, who calls my mom her second mom, would know that this shit does not go past me. That is another mark against you, dear.
The next day, my eighteenth birthday, she texts me at 9 in the morning a happy birthday. Note: she did not post anything to me on Facebook, but through text. I say thank you, she says you’re welcome. Civil.
Later in the week, a couple days before her joint graduation party with her best friend, she texts my mom once again asking if we are planning on coming to the party, because if we weren’t, she wanted to drop off senior photos at our house. My mom tells her that we might come.
I was planning on going with my friends, but the majority of them were called into work or working later. Some of us planned to go after one of them got off work and see the last hour of the party, then go somewhere and hang out.
She sends me a text, “Are you coming to the party today?” This sends my blood boiling. Did I send her a text asking if she was coming to my party? Why does she expect me to join her party when she did not even make the effort to come to mine. In my invitations, I stated I would be at my house all day for those who had to work or had previous plans. I made sure to note that so people know they can come after the party to wish me a congratulations and a happy birthday. She didn’t come to the party, she didn’t come after, yet she is asking me if I should come?
I don’t like to make my life half and half. Why must I be a part of your life if you want nothing to do with mine? I have to deal with this already with my family across the country, I am not going to do it with someone who knows my life like the back of their hand.
My second mistake in this situation: I made a Facebook status. Sometimes I get so angry with things, I need to write it down. Sometimes, when I am go angry that I am feeling 73 emotions at once and my hands are shaking and my stomach is in a knot and I feel sick, I need to write something down and make it public (hence this post). I need to feel the satisfaction that my feeling is out in the open. This sounds superstarish to you? It does to me too and I hate this part of me, but I do it.
I forget about tumblr where nobody is my life knows this name and I post it on Facebook.
Her mom comments on it telling me to “not post things on Facebook” That this is “childish and immature.” But because I am “an adult now, you can post whatever you wish.”
If this was my mom writing this, I would not even include it in my rant, but the fact the HER mom is writing this makes me pissed the hell off.
What did I do to her? What is it that makes me the enemy in this situation?
I text her mom saying that she should be telling her daughter that because I have done nothing in this situation that would call for her behavior. I gave opportunity after opportunity to tell me what I did wrong and she just blew me off countless times.
I delete the status off Facebook and try to forget the entire thing… but her mom is not done.
She tells me that when someone cracks open an door, one should open it. Instead, I slammed it back in her face. I am being unreasonable and too difficult to deal with. She tells me she is done and she is going to tell HER that she should just give up on me.
Crack open a door? I am the open to kick it down to figure out what the hell is going on! SHE picked up the door, screwed it back into place, and put on a hundred deadbolts on it! I finally gave up knocking and moved on with my life.
What have I done to her? Be the best friend she could ever have?
I finally got sick of her stupid statuses and pictures and made it so I could not see her on my news feed. I am mature enough not to delete people. I did, however, delete her mom because I fucking hate that bitch.
On the 4th of July, my friends and I were ranting about this guy on Facebook who updates his statuses every thirty seconds and they are always about the stupidest shit. Since my one friend and I hate him, we both deleted him off of Facebook. Neither of us wanted to see his shit anymore and wanted him gone in our lives.
Apparently, he found out about my deleting of him.
He writes this rude status, not naming names, even though everyone who knows of the situation will know who he is talking about. Saying how I have changed, that I am immature about deleting him, that I need to grow up, how I wish I was dating my friend’s boyfriend because I TOTALLY like him, bullshit after bullshit.
Now, how did I find out about this if I am not friends with him? My sister is friends with him. Being the loving sister that she is, she showed me this status AND the comments after.
SHE writes on it saying how I will learn how it feels when people talk about me behind my back, how my so called friends talk about me all the time, all this other stuff that I cannot remember and cannot look at (hold on). He says amen, blah blah blah, she says something else.
SHE deletes me off Facebook, SHE BLOCKS me off her profile. This is why I cannot see her responses anymore.
Apparently, I said something about her behind her back.
What was it? That is what I am questioning too.
This is why I do not do best friends. I keep getting stabbed in the back and pushed to the ground every single fucking time.